Safety Planning for Survivors and their Families

Tips for survivors currently

experiencing abuse and violence:

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• If you have a neighbor nearby that you feel safe sharing your situation with, consider asking them to keep an eye out for you and to call the police if they hear a disturbance or see concerning behavior.

• Devise a code word/phrase to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police. It’s important to select something that is unique enough to remember, but easy to work into everyday conversation.​

• Consider hiding extra money, car keys, important documents (marriage license, birth certificates, social security cards, school records, etc.) in a safe place either at home or at another location. This is helpful if you need to grab them in a hurry.

• If you’re able, try packing a “go-bag” or suitcase for emergency exits and think about storing it at another location.

• Identify any “safe places” available to you to flee to in case of an emergency such as a shelter, a trusted friend, or a relative's home.

• Save the phone number of your local police department in your phone contacts, or have it written down somewhere handy. If you call the police, try to get the name and badge number of the responding police officer and any incident numbers assigned to your case.

• Teach your children to go to a neighbor's house to call the police during an altercation. Click here to learn more about talking to children about domestic violence.

• If you’re able, identify the safest area(s) in your house. Safe areas/rooms are spaces you can flee to in the event you need to protect yourself and your children. Rooms with locking doors or doors that can be barricaded, are usually safer than open spaces. Typically, the kitchen is the least-safe room in a living space due to its central location and access to knives/blunt objects.

• Understand the cycle of violence/power and control and try to recognize when a violent episode may occur. Click here to learn more about the cycle of violence and how it applies to you and your situation.

• If you are assaulted, consider seeking medical attention ASAP. Even if you think you aren’t injured, it is helpful to have the assault documented in your medical record. Click here to learn more about medical advocacy from HAVEN.

• Keep a record of incidents of abuse in a safe place. Update this record as you’re able and try to include photographs of any injuries or property damage.

• Have an escape plan in mind and walk through it several times so that you are prepared. If you need help making an escape plan, consider contacting HAVEN for help.

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​Tips for preparing to leave an abusive relationship:

 

• HAVEN can help you make a safety plan to leave your abuser. If you already have a plan, you can still contact HAVEN to learn about how they can support you before, during, and after your escape.

• Identify your supports, if any (family, friends, coworkers, etc.) that you can share your plan with.

• Consider opening a new bank account in your own name to establish or increase your independence and keep all bank records in case of audit.